My plans are changing and evolving, and, as usual, everything is (seemingly) working out for the best. I'm going to end up heading for Europe sooner than I anticipated, which is both a blessing and a curse at the same time.

In other news, I just got through watching die Verfilmung of Die Klavierspielerin and I am slightly disturbed. Elfriede Jelinek really knows how to write depressing, disgusting novels that eventually turn into French films.

Family

I hate the fact that I love to travel. I hate the fact that I feel at home in so many different countries. It makes life so much more difficult. There are so many wonderful people in my life, and they are all scattered throughout the world. I am very excited about the next chapter in my life, but I just wish that my family could always be by my side. I love them more than anything in the world. If there's one thing I learned while abroad, it's that there's no replacement for your family.

<3

Letting people in

It's funny, but up until recently I didn't realize how much I try and push the people I care about most away. The more I care about someone, the less I tend to tell them. I guess I've always been afraid about what they would end up thinking about me. But I'm starting to see that a friendship isn't really a friendship if personal details aren't shared (the good, and the bad). While I'm not advocating sharing the most intimate details of your life with someone that you have only known for a month, I do think that you should be able to trust a friend that you have known for years. And, starting with my study abroad experience, I've learned slowly but surely to learn to trust the people closest to me. Here's to learning something new about myself every day.

Molly

Where in the world am I going to end up?

It's hard to live in the moment, focus on school and exams when I'm applying for jobs in Germany, for a work visa, etc. There are just so many things to figure out. Where to store everything, how to get my finances in order, etc. I'm confident that it will all work out in the end, but the taxing part is right now and I don't particularly like dealing with it all.

I just need to focus and do my best work these last few months and then it's BASTA mit studieren. Then it's on to teaching English, which will be a challenge in and of itself-but I'm excited to do something different and to challenge myself in a different way.

I just wish those acceptance/rejection letters were here already! Would love to know who's going to take me, who won't, and where in the world I'll be teaching next year!

-M

Cookbook

Today my first cookbook that I've ever bought for myself came in the mail. It's a cookbook for college students that is supposed to offer healthy recipes (with calorie counts) for students on a budget. My goal is to try one new recipe each week. I will post them here.

I was so afraid that after I lost the weight the weight would start to come back. Nope-didn't happen ;) I'm starting to realize that those extra pounds I was carrying had little to do with food itself. It had to do with the self-confidence I didn't have. And now that I do, I realize that I am worth it. It's worth it to me to exercise, eat healthy and to buy organic.

<3

Mood Swings

It's funny how suddenly little things can make me so unbelievably happy. Today I got a term paper back from last semester that I had written for the Faces of Germany seminar I took last semester. My professor gave me an A- and said that she was very impressed by what I wrote. I feel like I've come so far and improved in more ways than I ever thought possible. I think this graduate program was just what the doctor ordered. I have fate, my family and friends, God, and myself to thank for that. ;-)

What will the future hold for me? I'm not entirely sure, but based on the opportunities that are coming my way, I have a feeling that I will end up in Europe for the next couple of years. I'm pretty excited, despite the drawbacks; it will be hard not having my family around. Thank goodness for internet and Skype.

Right now, however, I'm enjoying my final semester in graduate school. How wonderful to be able to end my career as a student by taking a German theater course. Combining my two loves, German and theater has been quite the interesting experience so far.

It's nice to finally be in a good place. I'm proud of the person I've become. An imperfect work in progress. As soon as I figured out that I don't have to be perfect, I started delving in to things more freely without the fear that I had previously had.;-)

<3 Molly

Week 1 without Facebook=complete

I haven't used my Facebook since last Monday and here is what I have to report: I don't miss it at all. It is occasionally annoying when people want to contact me and I have to explain I'm not currently using Facebook, but that is easily remedied by providing them with my phone number. Other than that, there isn't much to miss. I'm not currently abroad and thus don't have photos to share, so I really don't feel the need to use it. What will I be saying in a few months? Who knows.

Apparently this is the year for changes in my life. I've lost weight, am taking up cooking (I can only eat salad and pasta so many times before it gets to be mundane), and giving up Facebook. I suppose I've gone mad :) There are other changes that I'd like to implement in my life, such as trying to go to bed earlier (yeah that's working out well; it's currently 2:30 am) so that I can get up in the morning more easily. I've also decided to try and eat organic if possible. These aren't so much New Year's Resolutions as lifestyle changes. Other than that, I'm very happy with the way my life is going and have developed more self-confidence than I've ever thought possible. I suppose this comes with age and life experience.

-Molly