I have been home for 5 days now. The first night at home was difficult. I was exhausted after 3 flights and couldn't think straight. The next few days were better. I was up north with my family and everything here was somehow "new" again. Now, on the 5th day, the honeymoon stage is over, and I am in a state of melancholy. Everything that is different here makes me angry, and I want things to be like they were in Germany. The experts call this "reverse culture shock" and I'm certainly dealing with that right now.
There are some wonderful things about America. Here I have my family, my best friends, my childhood memories. I have my American tv shows, my favorite chocolate bars, my favorite stores and restaurants. But it isn't about what is or isn't here. It's about getting used to it again. I adapted to another culture for an entire year, and eventually fell in love with it. I made the culture my own. And that's what makes it so hard to be back. But I guess I should be proud: because the fact that I am having reverse culture shock right now means I really did immerse myself in another culture. That was one of the most important things to me on this journey.
I will be back. While I'm not sure that I will spend the rest of my life in Germany, I am certain that I will be back for a longer period of time, either to work or study. I have so much support over there, making it a much more pleasant experience.
So today, I am going to try and relax. I'll watch Degrassi for free online and drink unsweetened iced tea, 2 things that I couldn't enjoy while I was in Europe.
Signing off,
Molly
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